Hey Friends,

Just wanted to pose a question for you all to think about. As a single woman, I often double dutch with the concept called vulnerability. Sometimes, I feel brave and ready to roll while other times I pull back and put up my guard. I’ve been studying this topic and want to share with you what I have learned.

Do you have the COURAGE to beVULNERABLE?

Vulnerability…..is all about feeling exposed to emotional hurt. We’ve all been there and it is not fun. Often times, we are left feeling weak and fragile and susceptible of being taken advantage of. The thought of relating your innermost feelings and fears to someone with the possibility of them not caring or even using them against you is straight up SCARY!!

Vulnerability….is also about opening yourself up to the possibility of trying new things, growth emotionally and spiritually and the relentless pursuit of the truth of one’s deepest self. This requires welcoming honest and sometimes even negative feedback. How does that feel for someone who does not take criticism well? Hmmm…..NOT FUN. And that is so me. :) Well, it’s not fun at first, because it stings…sometimes even burns. But when the wounds heal, there is beautiful recovery!!

But before we see the beauty of the recovery process, we experience the demons of our own insecurities and the sensational lack of self-confidence that reaks in our presence. Sometimes, the fear of the unknown causes us to resist and the lack of forgiveness for our past hurts and injustices rule our lives. We defend our need for privacy….shutting others out, keeping ourselves safe…from this vulnerability (showing insecurity). We don’t want to be uncomfortable, we challenge change or make excuses for our shortcomings instead of pursuing change and personal responsibility.

I’ve learned that if we continue to act in denial of what’s really REAL, we risk many things in our lives that will keep us from true PEACE. We will constantly be on the offensive, blaming others and avoiding personal responsibility. We will act like we’ve “got it together” when we don’t, we may become shy due to a fear of rejection or disapproval and ultimately play games b/c it’s easier to follow a script than be REAL. You know what I’m talking about….”Never let anyone know how I feel, always be strong, never cry, never let my guard down, I’ll never let someone hurt me again, trust no one, I have no problems, etc”. Ever said any of those things? I know I have!

From the secrets of my dieting failures (Yes, even pros mess it up), to wanting to live up to what people see me as (strong), from my year in boot camp where I never wanted the cadre to see me cry (b/c they broke me down every day!) to talking about everyone else’s problems and feeling good b/c the light’s not on my life, judging me. Yeah, I have been in all of these places!

But I am JOYFUL to be able to proclaim the FREEDOM of true vulnerability! I know that deep in our core, we all desire to be close to someone and each other….God, family, a friend, a lover…. God made us to need each other in addition to Him. So that we can experience new possibilities, learning to receive help, developing trust in others, learning healthy, direct and honest communication, self-acceptance, security, being in tune with your real feelings and letting go of fears.

ALL GOOD STUFF!! :)

So, think about it….the choice is yours. Which side of the rope will you be on?

Your friend in Christ
Tanji